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Hey, Raising Humans Crew!
Somewhere along the way, childhood started to look a lot like a productivity system.
Faster readers. Smarter algorithms. Tighter schedules. Clear outcomes. Clear metrics. Clear wins.
But this week, we want to pause and ask a different question.
What if kids are growing up to be too efficient?
What if the rush to optimize learning, activities, and achievement is quietly squeezing out something just as important… the messy, slow, uncertain moments where real growth happens?
Let’s talk about it.
Also in this edition:
Survey Says: We asked, you answered! Here's what parents really think about last week's big question.
🧠 The Think Tank: Cast your vote in this week’s poll!
Growing Fast Isn’t the Same as Growing Deep
It is easy to celebrate speed. When a child finishes quickly, moves ahead a level, or checks something off their list, it feels like success. Progress is visible. Measurable. Reassuring.
But learning that happens too fast can sometimes stay shallow.
When kids move quickly through material, they often miss the chance to sit with confusion. They do not wrestle with ideas, make mistakes, or discover what to do when the answer is not obvious. Over time, this can create kids who look capable on the surface but feel uneasy when things slow down or get hard.
You might notice it when your child freezes the moment they cannot immediately solve a problem. Or when they say, “I don’t get it” and give up faster than expected. Speed has taught them that struggle means something is wrong, instead of something is working.
What you can do:
Normalize slow thinking. Say things like, “This one is tricky. Let’s take our time.”
Praise effort, not pace. Highlight how they approached a problem, not how fast they finished it.
Ask process questions. “What part felt confusing?” or “How did you figure that out?”
When kids learn that depth matters more than speed, they build confidence that lasts beyond the worksheet.
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The Cost of Constant Optimization
Today’s kids live in a world designed to optimize everything. Personalized feeds. Adaptive learning. Efficiency at every turn. While these tools can be helpful, they can also send an unintended message.
That everything should have a purpose.
That time without output is wasted.
That wandering, boredom, and trial-and-error are problems to fix.
But some of the most important growth happens when there is no clear goal.
When kids have unstructured time, they learn how to initiate, imagine, and self-direct. When they are bored, they practice creativity. When things are inefficient, they develop patience and flexibility.
Constant optimization can quietly remove these opportunities.
You may see it when a child asks, “What should I do now?” instead of exploring on their own. Or when they expect immediate feedback before trusting their instincts.
What you can do:
Leave space in the schedule that has no agenda. No enrichment. No objective.
Resist the urge to jump in immediately. Let kids sit with uncertainty a little longer.
Model inefficiency. Share moments where you tried something new and did not do it well at first.
Kids do not need every moment to be productive. They need moments to be human.
Bringing Back the Messy Middle
The messy middle is where learning actually sticks. It is the phase where kids are no longer beginners, but not confident yet either. It feels uncomfortable, and that is why it often gets rushed.
But skipping the messy middle teaches kids to rely on systems instead of themselves.
When parents allow kids to stay in that space, something powerful happens. Kids learn how to problem-solve without shortcuts. They learn how to recover from mistakes. They learn that progress is not always linear.
This might look like letting your child struggle through a homework problem before offering help. Or encouraging them to stick with a hobby even when the excitement fades, and improvement slows.
What you can do:
Offer support without rescuing. Try, “I’m here if you want help,” instead of stepping in right away.
Celebrate persistence. Point out moments when they kept going even when it was uncomfortable.
Reflect together. Ask, “What did you learn about yourself while working through that?”
When kids learn to navigate the messy middle, they build resilience that no shortcut can replace.
Last week, we asked: “When kids struggle with school tasks, what do you think is usually the real issue?”
Over half of you, 56%, said the real issue is usually a combination of things, not just one simple cause.
Missing life skills like planning and time management
Too much academic pressure
Lack of motivation
Kids rarely struggle because of one missing piece. It is usually a mix of skills still developing, expectations stacking up, emotions getting involved, and environments moving faster than they can process.
That perspective connects perfectly to this week’s conversation. When we try to make learning more efficient without addressing the whole child, we risk missing what kids actually need to grow with confidence.
Thanks for bringing such thoughtful insight to the table. This community gets it.
We’re asking parents like you to share their thoughts on topics that matter each week! Cast your vote and see what others think! We’ll chat more about the results next week. 👀
What worries you more as a parent right now?
This week, we’re sharing some activities that will help boost your child’s creativity!
Open-Ended Journaling Prompts
A simple notebook or notes app can become a powerful tool when there is no “right” answer. Try prompts like:
What was confusing for you today?
What did you almost give up on?
What are you still wondering about?
Why it helps: Journaling slows kids down and builds reflection, which strengthens self-awareness and independent thinking.
How to use it: Just 5 minutes a few times a week. No correcting. No grading. Just listening.
Build Time with No Instructions
Think LEGOs, craft supplies, cardboard boxes, or even household items. The key is no directions and no outcome.
Why it helps: Kids practice planning, frustration tolerance, and creativity when they have to decide what to do next on their own.
How to use it: Set a timer for 20 to 30 minutes and resist the urge to help or suggest improvements.
Slow Learning Sessions
Designate one short learning session each week where speed does not matter. The goal is understanding, not completion.
Why it helps: It retrains kids to value depth and process instead of rushing to finish.
How to use it: Ask questions like “Why do you think that worked?” or “What would happen if you tried it another way?”
Weekly “Nothing Planned” Time
This might be the most powerful tool of all.
Why it helps: Unstructured time builds internal motivation, imagination, and self-direction. These skills cannot be rushed or optimized.
How to use it: Put it on the calendar to protect it. Let kids complain about boredom. That discomfort is often where creativity begins.
Parent mindset reminder:
Not every tool needs to make kids faster, smarter, or more advanced. Some tools exist to help kids slow down, sit with uncertainty, and grow skills that last far beyond childhood!
Until Next Week…
In a world that rewards speed, efficiency, and visible results, choosing to slow down can feel uncomfortable. Even risky. But growth was never meant to be rushed.
When kids are given space to think, struggle, explore, and move at their own pace, they learn something far more valuable than how to finish quickly.
They learn how to trust themselves. How to stay curious. How to keep going when things feel uncertain.
Progress does not always look impressive in the moment.
Sometimes it looks like pausing. Wondering. Making mistakes. Starting again.
Thanks for joining us in raising kind, capable, and confident humans. We’re so glad you’re here.
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